Endings, and their beginnings

My head is somewhere between hung-over and sleep deprived, as a result of the adventures from the night before. That’s when it hit me; this chapter is almost complete and these adventures are becoming few and far between. Some shenanigans, because there is not a more appropriate word to describe some of our escapades during the year, are not as fresh of memories as they once were and my mind is growing weary with speculations of whats to come.

I came into college feet first, eager to experience everything around me. I wanted to meet everyone and join everything. There were so many possibilities and all of my nagging doubts and anxiety were finally silenced (or at least muffled).

While the start of my freshman year was the beginning of so many things, it was also the ending. College signified the end to living in my childhood home under my parents sometimes over-bearing rule and the end to many forced relationships I felt that I had to tolerate in order to make it through high school unscathed, the end to feeling inadequate and “not cool enough” because I didn’t fit into some materialistic, ecocentric social hierarchy that ruled my small world.

I no longer felt the need to apologize for feeling the way I felt and wanting the things I wanted. I was able to unapologetically be myself and that is a change that no one can actually predict going into their freshman year. I never would have been able to grasp the fact that I would come out of the other side feeling so secure and loved and understood. My freshman year friends are a pack of wild, crazy, loving, unique people and they have helped me to come to terms with the fact that I see things differently and may not have it all together, but that this does not make me any less worthy. These friends have pieced together and made up one of the best years of my life thus far, and I am fortunate enough to say that they will more than likely continue to shape my life as the years continue.

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