Same page

We just aren’t on the same page anymore, and I know I am partly responsible for that. But so are you. I have apologized for my role in everything, and I thought we had agreed to move on. Or at least, I had.

And I have been holding up my end of that. I have stopped looking at you as anything more than a friend, and I am moving on. I have asked someone else to formal and to our date function. I have stopped feeling the way I did about you, truly. I have consoled my friend who you decided you had feelings for, assuring her that I am 110% moved on and fine with everything. Because I am.

Ironically, the only concern I expressed to her was over the fact that you are ignoring me, whether you want to admit this or not. You don’t respond to me, which definitely falls under the category of ignoring me. But why?

After everything happened, you told me nothing had changed. Everything was fine and we were going to be okay. But that isn’t the case. I honestly just wish you had been more honest and told me that you were going to cut yourself away. At least then, I could have been a little more prepared.

Being rejected by you was one thing when it was romantic. Being rejected by you now, as a friend, hurts me more. When something bad happens, I want to talk to you about it. When something funny happens, I want to talk to you about it. I honestly just want you to acknowledge that we were close before, in the way that I know we were.

But you can’t even do that for me. You can’t even meet me halfway, so why do I keep subjecting myself to this treatment? Why do I keep letting you make me feel this way? The only explanation I can come up with is that I really did love you, as a friend. My love for you ran deep, and I thought we were on the same page about that. But now, as I sit with unread text and unheard songs, I know we are not.

And that is fine. I can one-up your ignorance, and forget about you completely. Forget about how you made me feel or the things we could talk about for so long and the things that made our friendship what it was. I can move on, and forget.

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